Part of the Heart Heroes series.
I wrote my Arts Council application with a laptop balanced between two sleeping children. My daughter snored in the crib on my left, my son cuddled up on my right.
Feeding turned to sleeping. Sleeping turned to typing. I wrote during naptimes and in the middle of the night.
Why it mattered
I had taken 10 months off work after my daughter’s birth and the end of mat leave was looming. I had enough childcare for my job hours but nothing to spare for making art. Or haircuts. Or sick days.
I wanted to know how I would return to my practice with two small humans. The Developing Your Creative Practice application gave me something to aim at.
The rejection that came first
Arts Council England funding always felt like winning the lottery. My head knew it happened. My heart believed it happened to other people.
I had applied before, at the time armed with youthful naivety and the safety net of living with my parents. I had just embraced full time artist practice.
My first ACE application was rejected. I tell young artists over and over not to take rejection personally. It is never a reflection on you but of course I took the rejection personally! I questioned my practice, I questioned my career choice. I wondered if I would ever make a living from my art. Three years as a full time artist and the financially precarious way of life became untenable. It was time for a rethink.
Where I am now
I am open about something many artists are not: I have a job outside the arts that sits alongside my practice. It gives me financial security, variety and routine. I recommend to any artist working non-commercially to find the best paid job they can, in the long run it earns you back the time you need to build a sustainable art practice.
Life has been busy since I won the Visions of Science Award in 2018. Stability arrived at the same time biology recommends passing on our DNA. So, shortly after winning my two small humans joined the mix.
Writing the application
Two artist colleagues had been awarded Developing Your Creative Practice (DYCP) funding. I talked to both of them about the experience, they gave me the confidence to apply, recognising that I was in a very different position to my first-time application self.
My intention was simple: write the best application I could and see what happened.
Some bids I write and submit knowing I gave it my all. If the answer is no, I am still proud of the application. Others I write to 80% and hope. DYCP is an application you have to give your all. It is hugely competitive and even an application that ticks every box can be rejected.
The wait
Then came the wait. I was in the July cohort.
It almost did not register. I apply to everything with a sense of resignation. There is nothing to do except wait. I knew I had given it my best shot, so I got on with the business of living. A small part of my brain kept hoping the grant would come through.
The outcome
I was awarded the grant.
Then the grants platform had technical issues, the acceptance email was delayed, then the funds were delayed. They would not clear in time to cover my fees for the Turps Correspondence Course. The course offers mentoring from established painters at Turps Banana Art School. I borrowed the money from family.
One piece of advice
If anything needs paying before or at the start of your project, sort it out early. Negotiate payment terms. Or agree a loan with someone you trust. Do it before you need it.
What the grant funds
The project is part of Heart Heroes, the series explores disabled representation with a focus on cardiac patients with implanted devices. It shares each individual in a portrait. Some choose to show their devices or scars, others use clothing and props to celebrate their life saving journeys.
What it has given me
The grant has given me a year of studio time. It has given me new skills in video, photography and reference building. Above all it has given me a clear, repeatable pattern for creating great paintings.
Want to follow the project as it unfolds? Join the mailing list https://exhibitions.charliekirkhamcurator.com/subscribe
About the author
Charlie Kirkham
UK Visual Artist based in the Midlands.
